IS THE WORST, LONGEST MONOLOGUE I HAVE HEARD IN YEARS
This man claims to have the secret to make yourself irresistible to any man alive. With one simple secret.
I am betting this secret is allowing him to talk as long as he wants with no interruptions the way this man is going on.
And I have been listening to this for I think about an hour now and he is finally telling me that he will not tell me the secret until I pay him money.
And he keeps talking about “loving glares” and using terrible metaphors and talking about how the man you use this on will long for you and need you and stalk you and imagine how great that will feel.
Oh wait now it is $47 dollars.
Imagine, how great it will feel, when the man who thought you were unattractive and unintelligent, and didn’t want you in his life, firmly puts his hands in your hands and glares lovingly in your eyes in front of a crowd, unembarrassed, and asks you to marry him.
Men secretly crave this from a woman.
But wait there’s more!
Had too much sex? Afraid he’s getting tired of you?
Secret technique, desu!
I will make him desire you with this one simple formula.
This man has been using terrible metaphors and describing really creepy relationships for over an hour now and I’m not sure why I’m still listening.
Of COURSE he strongly urges me to push the add to cart button. He wants me to buy his formula that will make any man feel the dependency for me that a fish feels for water or a baby for it’s mother or a dog for a bone.
Lost your boyfriend or husband to another woman?
Want him to give you the love you so desperately crave?
I need to close that tab now. But part of me is waiting for him to stop talking because this “very short time that we’ve had together” has to stop at some point.
The almost magical power to get anything you want from a man?
This sounds like a terrible idea.
AAAAHHH NOW HE IS READING THE FAQS SOMEONE SMOTHER HIM PLEASE
Now he is trying to sell me something to make all men tell me the truth always because unconscious switches that will make me feel like an absolute champion
THIS IS NOT THE THING I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE
I WANTED WRITING REFERENCE
Exactly like a puppy dog that remains loyal to it’s owner
How many metapho-